Free Leaf

"Don't gain the world and lose your soul, wisdom is better than silver or gold..."

Name:
Location: Falls Church, Virginia, United States

I have a lot more questions than answers, but I just keep asking. I constantly want to leave, but somehow manage to stay. I am both perfectly happy and completely miserable because of it. I think I am misunderstood but that could just be a huge misunderstanding, either way I guess the best way to put it is, "I ain't often right, but I've never been wrong."

11.22.2006

Strip Clubs and Smoking Lounges

Last night I was treated to some of South Florida’s finest establishments. To be more specific I was in Pompano last night at the Greenbrier. The brier describes itself as a smoking lounge and they aren’t lying. Honestly, it was probably a bad idea to go just because of all the smoke but with the retired strippers and the too ugly to be strippers behind the bar how could I not see this place for myself. When Christine and I walked in we were greeted by a collection of truckers and other blue collar workers who were probably regulars. The wall of smoke hits you immediately, it is the first thing you notice, but the second thing was one of the ugliest woman bartenders I have ever seen, and if that wasn’t enough she was not entirely dressed. Since she was running the front bar we had no choice but to purchase drinks from her, but we didn’t stay at that bar long. Once the other people who were meeting us arrived we took a nice spot at the back bar that was being handled by two possibly 40 year olds, one that might have been attractive ten years ago, but was still making decent money on her 5 year old boobs. The other 40+ bartender also had fake boobs but might not have always been a woman, I’d rather not think about that much more. Anyway, the drinks were cheap, really cheap and it was really chill. All the bartenders walking around picking up their tips with their tits, one even managing to pick up quarters off the bar, that was impressive. So, we drank, Christine smoked, and we drank some more. Jager bombs lead to bad decision making and as the night wore on the booby tricks at the brier got old and the other guys in our crew apparently were in the mood for more.

So, here is where the strip club comes into the story. After leaving the brier instead of going home as would have been smart we went to the Cheetah. What a great strip club name by the way. Now, I do not generally like strip clubs, they make me feel uncomfortable, there is something so false about the whole thing. It is not that I necessarily have a problem with strippers but I just don’t like the scene so much. And somehow I ended up touching every stripper and cocktail waitress there. It is amazing what I will do for a free beer. Here is what went down there, one of us got a shady massage, but at least he kept his shirt on, while the fat old dude at the table next to us did not. One of the girls bought a lap dance for another girl and for the guy she is dating, that was awkward, then someone bought me a lap dance as well. In the midst of all this excitement and continued beverage consumption I am propositioned by a man in a tuxedo. This mysterious man who served me a free beer asked me to simply stand on stage and help the girls walk down the stairs as they are introduced, it was like being an usher at a very trashy wedding. But, I think I did an awesome job at it, I smiled, made eye contact and made sure to handle each girl differently, some liked a firm hand as they walked down the steps, and others just wanted to keep moving. A few said thanks and a few smiled back, so I’d like to think if the Cheetah was hiring for this position I would get asked back for an interview.

Since we skipped dinner the night ended at Taco Bell. I could not think of a better way to spend my one real night out in South Florida. Tonight I will be relaxing and staying in, tomorrow I will celebrate Thanksgiving with family and friends and I will be dressed as a punk. I will probably drink too much wine and end up not doing much after the meal. Then it is off to Tallahassee to watch the Mighty Gators take on the Seminoles.

If anyone found this post by searching for tits, booby tricks or strip clubs I apologize that there are no pictures and that the story is probably not what you were looking for. Maybe next time.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Jenn said...

haha I told you that the GreenBrier was a classy place. And I didn't want to ruin the fun for you about the bartenders picking up the tips with their boobs for ya!!

9:40 AM  
Blogger Leaf said...

Jenn, Thanks it was everything I thought it would be and more.

9:54 AM  
Anonymous Jenn said...

Haha next time your down we'll have to go there if you enjoyed yourself that much lol

7:52 PM  

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