Free Leaf

"Don't gain the world and lose your soul, wisdom is better than silver or gold..."

Location: Falls Church, Virginia, United States

I have a lot more questions than answers, but I just keep asking. I constantly want to leave, but somehow manage to stay. I am both perfectly happy and completely miserable because of it. I think I am misunderstood but that could just be a huge misunderstanding, either way I guess the best way to put it is, "I ain't often right, but I've never been wrong."


Haunted Forest

I have mentioned it many times and I have been looking forward to it for months and Saturday night we finally made it out there. Markoff’s Haunted Forest was the perfect alternative to another Saturday night out in DC or its trendy suburbs. After a day of casually watching football and playing video games 8 of us ventured into the heart of darkness, Dickerson MD. We met up at Scotties house in Bethesda and from there we took two cars down River Rd. through Potomac, where there is a house that I still consider haunted and unsafe, then took some road that was pitch black and scary as hell through Poolesville and finally out to the corn field where we parked our cars. When we got out there it was about 9:30 and the place was packed, the line to get in to the waiting area took about 20 minutes but it was a nice night out and you could see more stars than us city dwellers are used to. After signing waivers and getting inside we realized that they were nowhere near our group’s number to actually enter the forest. It would be about an hour and a half before we ever got called. During that time we kept ourselves entertained by eating hot dogs and sweet almonds and drinking hot cider or cocoa. We also sat around some bonfires and watched people make funnel cake. There were a lot of things to do out there, a zip line, a wall climb, a hay ride, a death jump and a Haunted bus but we chose to just sit around and tell stories while trying to stay warm. In the hour plus that we waited you could feel the temperature continually drop. But once we could hear the numbers getting close to ours we all started getting pretty excited and could not wait to get inside.

Once you enter the mouth of the giant skull you have two choices, left or right. I assume either one is equally frightening but we went left onto path 1. The path itself is a very dimly lit trail through the woods which is scary enough on its own until you realize there are people lurking in the woods in dark costumes and makeup waiting to scare the crap out of you. Luckily for me the way our group was set up I was rarely the focal point of any attacks and mostly got to laugh my way through the trail as my friends got scared. Along the trail we came upon numerous scenes or sets with people in corresponding costumes, but the scariest room to me was a house that had no light and walls so tight that you could feel them on either side of you. As you walk through this house forced by the way the wall pushes you there is no clue as to what is next and then when you finally come out from the tight walls there is someone waiting to jump out with a flash of light and scare the crap right out of you. From that little shack we roamed past a country home full of jack o lanterns, a downed plane, a graveyard, some voodoo huts and one scary horse. But by far the scariest was the end of the path where you are literally swarmed by chainsaw wielding psychos before walking through a sideways bus that lets you out into an industrial wasteland complete with techno music, fire, strobe lights and an electrified fence. And just for good measure they have two people hiding just on the other side of the exit to get you one more time.

At the end of the night it was all worth it; The 45 minute drives, 3 hours in the wilderness and the rapidly dropping temperatures. I’d even go again, but next time I’m bringing money to do the zip line and get a funnel cake.


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