Free Leaf

"Don't gain the world and lose your soul, wisdom is better than silver or gold..."

Location: Falls Church, Virginia, United States

I have a lot more questions than answers, but I just keep asking. I constantly want to leave, but somehow manage to stay. I am both perfectly happy and completely miserable because of it. I think I am misunderstood but that could just be a huge misunderstanding, either way I guess the best way to put it is, "I ain't often right, but I've never been wrong."


Do you ever wonder what if?

It is the time of year at work when we all find out about our yearly compensation increases (or lack thereof) and about promotions. And in a way for me this time of year is a reflection of the decision I made two years ago now to take a job instead of continuing on with my education. At the time the decision was simple, I got my loan packet and my job offer within days of each other and when I sat down and looked at both of them I preferred the net gain to the net loss. It is possible that I would have made more money after going to law school, but I was just sick of living off loans and scholarships and wanted to start moving forward with my life so I took the job. There are moments when I regret the decision, usually in the anticipation of hearing about a promotion or raise, times when I wonder what my life would have been like had I taken a different route.

The ultimate question is would I be happier as a law student in San Diego? Maybe. I don’t know for sure, how could I, but it is one of those thoughts that never seem to leave me. If I had gone to San Diego in the fall of 04 I would have just finished my second year of Law School. Obviously that would have only been possible had I succeeded there and it’s hard to say that would have been the case. Still, this summer I would most likely be looking for an internship or traveling abroad to study international law and I would be looking forward to my final year of school. I think I would have liked the San Diego weather a little more but I have come to enjoy the seasons here as well. I do miss the beach a lot and I think that is something that would have been nice. But then there are the friends, law school clear across the country would have kept me very far from a great group of people. But the unknown possibilities that not knowing a soul offers is quite intriguing to me as well. If I were in Law School the progression would have felt natural where at work I have felt that I have not been moving forward, because the feedback is not as easy to come by. But, then there are days like today when you realize you were making progress even though you didn’t notice it.

I will never know if I would have been happier in debt while studying law on the beaches of San Diego but I do know that I have a good job here in DC. A job that just gave me a promotion and a really nice raise.


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