Free Leaf

"Don't gain the world and lose your soul, wisdom is better than silver or gold..."

Location: Falls Church, Virginia, United States

I have a lot more questions than answers, but I just keep asking. I constantly want to leave, but somehow manage to stay. I am both perfectly happy and completely miserable because of it. I think I am misunderstood but that could just be a huge misunderstanding, either way I guess the best way to put it is, "I ain't often right, but I've never been wrong."



I have a love/hate relationship with automobiles. I love them and they hate me. It’s pretty simple really, I got my first car when I was 16 and they have tormented me ever since. Sure there were some great moments and lots of road trips, good memories and the like, but at the end of the day my cars like to attack me and cause me mental and physical pain. Car by car I have had some good times and some really bad ones.

“The Beast” was my first car, a red JEEP Cherokee, the first day I had that car one of the hub bearings went and I immediately had to get it fixed. The water pump, heater, the roof carpeting and countless other things would go on that one. But it did treat me pretty well, it went on road trips all over Florida, I slept in that car, smoked in that car, and even ran over and into things in that car. The Beast treated me pretty well, until early in 2000 when fixing it again just didn’t make sense. So, I got my second car.

“Johnny” Blazer, a black Chevy Blazer that I fell in love with the second I saw it on the lot. I knew I would get it, just knew it, it was all black with dark tint, beige leather interior, everything I wanted at the time and it too treated me pretty well. Johnny, got me to Mardi Gras and countless other places, and of course was a second home at times. It did cause me the occasional headache and the air conditioning would have eventually gone out on me and been irreplaceable but Johnny decided suicide was a better option. That led to one day on my daily court run when Johnny took his own life by crashing into the nearest cheap Ford he could find. It was actually the driver of the Fords fault but I knew that’s how Johnny wanted to go. This leads me to my current car.

“Chera” Chevy, a white Chevy Blazer, a car I never loved, and at times have barely even liked. After Johnny was totaled I really did not want another SUV, it just didn’t seem right, but the options for cars at the time weren’t all that appealing either, so I ended up choosing a replacement under a false belief. I will not describe the falsehood that led to my choosing this car here but just know someone let me down big time. Anyway, Chera was an alright car, for most of the time she got me where I needed to go and didn’t cause me too many problems until recently. I had driven that car into upstate NY from FL and from DC to FL a bunch of times. But over the past year or so this car has had one problem after another, of course they really started to add up when the warranty ran out, and now the latest and last problem, my transmission needs to be replaced. Because it is just way too expensive to replace I will be looking for my 4th car soon. And I am not looking forward to it.

As with many things in my life I am torn between my wants and needs, between what I think is best and what would make me happiest. Cars to me are a huge symbol of freedom, its one of the most American things about me, I love driving and I love roads. I actually have favorite roads, and look forward to long periods alone on the highway. Someone once asked what some things I liked about America were and I think the third thing I said was that you could take I-10 from the Atlantic Ocean all the way to the Pacific. And now as I look for a new car I need to weigh my financial independence against my desire to have a car that I love. Because I just cant deal with crap from a car that I don’t like, and I am either going to have to get a cheap dependable car that I won’t love or a more expensive car that I will enjoy but might tighten my financial situation. Why do I always make things so hard to decide?


Blogger Minor Fast Days said...

Cars are a symbol of freedom and there is no better image of freedom than driving across the United States in a car, but it may not be a symbol for long as the price oil is keeping people at home.

sorry for getting political.

6:21 PM  
Blogger Leaf said...

Politics are welcome here. Especially when I agree with it, I think the reason we havent gone for energy independence is because the driving habits in this country just arent changing even with the higher gas prices. I know mine havent, and neither has a large majority of the population. Until the oil companies have an incentive in this country to innovate instead of getting tax cuts to stay the same we will always be dependent on the most unstable region in the world.

7:54 PM  
Blogger Datingmaster, Jerusalem said...

come over for the real truth

10:32 AM  

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