Free Leaf

"Don't gain the world and lose your soul, wisdom is better than silver or gold..."

Name:
Location: Falls Church, Virginia, United States

I have a lot more questions than answers, but I just keep asking. I constantly want to leave, but somehow manage to stay. I am both perfectly happy and completely miserable because of it. I think I am misunderstood but that could just be a huge misunderstanding, either way I guess the best way to put it is, "I ain't often right, but I've never been wrong."

2.05.2006

Friends, Family and another move

Looks like I will be on the move again really soon, I am a little bit surprised I lasted in DC this long. Still, the experience has been a good one and I will have gained a lot from being here. Although, I am currently very stressed out trying to decide where I want to be next and whether that requires a new job or not, regardless a change will be made. So, in the midst of preparing for my imminent move I have begun going through the things I have accumulated while here. It is amazing how much junk can be gathered in a little less than two years. I have already thrown away an entire bag of letters, credit applications, cards, magazines, and countless airline tickets. I have no idea why I keep all this stuff as long as I do. I think sometimes its just human nature to hold onto things for too long, wondering if one day you may need it even though the chances aren’t good. I think sometimes this leads us to do the same in relationships with our Friends and Family. We people can be so persistent, so determined and so stubborn that we rarely give up on things when we should. Now, I am not saying to give up on your family because you only have one, but at a certain point we all need to realize exactly what role we allow them to play in our lives. The same can be said for friendships, although friendships can be a little more disposable than family, we still need to decide how we let other people affect our lives.

I know there aren’t many who share my beliefs on this subject but when I realize I am not getting the reception, respect or treatment from another I feel I deserve I only invest so much of my energy to let that other person see the error of their ways. This means that while I will not entirely give up on someone I will also not let them bring negativity into my life for any longer than I can stand. Some friendships, long or short, must come to and end for whatever reason; mostly they end badly, usually for unknown reasons. But, when you realize that you have given everything you can to make it right has not worked you must stop the bleeding and move on. In the past year I have walked away from two 7 year friendships, which is no easy task trust me, but it was also the best thing to do. Your true friends stand the test of time, true friends survive small fights and respect you, and they also accept you for who you are no matter your flaws. It is very hard to say goodbye to someone on good terms or bad but if they truly care about you your friendship either would not have to come to an end or they will find a way back into your life.

Obviously when disagreements occur within a family it is much more difficult to handle. I think the important thing here is to not continuously try to change the other person but change how you react to them. So many families these days are not perfect, siblings can be so different and resentful of each other. Parents don’t always get along and half the times don’t even like what their children become when they grow up (regardless of the fact they were responsible for raising said child). After a certain point it is not your job to make your mother, father, brother or sister accept you, it is theirs. If they simply can not do that then it is their loss, family relationships don’t need to be perfect but they don’t have to be adversarial either, just be yourself and let you family decide the rest, if they can't accept you then they aren’t worth your time anyway.

Now I think I should go call my sisters. They aren’t perfect and we don’t always get along but I am a better person for having them in my life.

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