Free Leaf

"Don't gain the world and lose your soul, wisdom is better than silver or gold..."

Location: Falls Church, Virginia, United States

I have a lot more questions than answers, but I just keep asking. I constantly want to leave, but somehow manage to stay. I am both perfectly happy and completely miserable because of it. I think I am misunderstood but that could just be a huge misunderstanding, either way I guess the best way to put it is, "I ain't often right, but I've never been wrong."


Return to the Routine

For most this week marks a return to normalcy after spending half of December in a holiday daze. For me, its a bit worse, living in DC means pretty much everyone you know is from somewhere else, which means those who choose to stay here for the second half of December are greeted by a ghost town. Making matters worse is when you work for an IT company that prides itself on telecommunication. When I was hired at IBM I was told that my laptop would be my office, nothing has ever been truer. This also means that around holidays nearly the entire young workforce of IBM disappears to wherever it is they came from to spend time with family and get the brief relaxation of working from home.

So, today when I awoke to my roommates leaving the house to go back to their respective offices for the first time in weeks I realized that today truly marked the return to routine. But, not for me, my routine hasn't changed, I haven't returned to my office because I have no office to return to. I am a work from home employee, one who did not go home to visit family over the second half December like everyone else. So, I had no brief change in my daily life, I have nothing to return to. You see, my routine is so tied in with my everyday life that holidays and work can't change it because as much as I would like to try to not let it happen working from home has made work and personal life blur together so much that there is very little difference between Saturday and Wednesday.

Most people would love to work from home, and I was one of those people before I actually started to do it. On occasion working from home allows one great freedom but overall I think it takes away your sanctuary, it is very hard to make a home separate from work when your laptop is always near by. But, the worst part is the ambiguos feelings that working from home gives you. You lack personal contact with co-workers, your only contacts with your superiors are usually done through email or a rare phone call. You may work too much or too little but its hard to tell, because being home makes it so hard to differentiate work from normal life. At the end of the day I try very hard to guess how many hours I have worked and take out the time I spent doing things that did not involve work but it gets less clear everyday. So, here is to the routine, the one we were given the freedom to create for ourselves or the one handed to us. Right now I despise the one I have made for myself and in the future when a routine is forced upon me I will surely long for the days when I was on my own schedule.


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